Friday, April 1, 2011

Signs you've emerged from babyville

1. You ask a baby-wearing Mama where she got “that silly backpack”

2. The last time you changed a diaper your child said “I prefer a bidet”

3. You’ve stopped speaking to your husband in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS

4. Breastfeeding a baby now seems as remote a possibility as molting your feathers.

5. You no longer have babies spitting up at the dinner table, but rather loud burps followed by “AWESOME”

6. Your stroller is so dirty and jerry-rigged that Graco recalls you personally

7. Instead of playing “pattycake” your kids play “Butt2Butt”

8. You can no longer pull-off the “baby brain” excuse (but isn’t your kid in kindergarten?)

9. You inform the infant sucking on a pacifier that she has “something in her teeth”

10. You tell that same infant that “she might be cute and all, but it’s rude to drift off when someone is speaking to you”

If this post seems familiar to you than you are my favorite person because you've been reading annsrants since you were protozoan.

Also, I have a rather HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT over at Listen To Your Mother today. Hint: NATIONAL MEDIA SPONSOR!!!!!!!

Finally, I spent an hour today talking about The Happy Pancakes Witch movie with a twitter friend/journalist Jennifer when I might've otherwise written a post.  And I do not regret it. In fact, thank you again Jennifer for making my day and transporting me back to the rainy day cafetorium. Only you were there with me and we were sharing animal crackers.

Happy Weekend friends!
xo
Posted by Ann Imig
at 12:01 AM
Labels: , , , , ,

32 comments:

  1. Love the list! My sad excuse for my baby brain is that 8 years ago I pushed my brain out of my vagina ... and after 3 kids it just never grew back.

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  3. Such a great list!!

    I'm definitely there, but I sure do wish I could still pull off the "baby brain" excuse some days.

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  4. Phoebe once burped and farted at the same time. She was 4. My ex asked her "Now what do you say when you do that? To which I RESPONDED, "Good one! "

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  5. The announcement we've been waiting for.

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  6. I honestly can't imagine going back... I miss some things - but when I remember dragging around that bucket of cement called the infant carrier...

    Loved your list and heading over to see LTYM right now.

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  7. I WIN! Because I knew this was a repeat post from the first sign.

    And um, about LTYM! HOLY MOTHER ANN! Congrats!!! (although I'm not surprised my mighty friend)

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  9. I'd settle for burps as opposed to what I usually hear from other orifices at the dinner table.

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  10. Half of me longs for the day when I escape from babyville. The other half weeps at the thought of no longer having little ones.

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  11. #6 made me wet myself. Again.

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  13. I am pretty sure I've emerged. And at my house it is loud girl-farts at the table. Awesome.

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  14. Whoa, wait a minute. I thought "baby brain" was a valid excuse for, like, ever! Shit. Must have another baby.

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  15. DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP RUBBING YOUR EMERGENCE FROM BABYVILLE IN OUR FACES? Oh. Sorry. The all-caps. I'm obviously still immersed.

    Can't wait to read your big news!

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  16. Loving number 4! Love the whole list, actually. Hope you have a good weekend.

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  17. Chalupa's comment is cracking me up! I've been out of Babyville for quite some time, but at times I find myself still thinking in all-caps.

    Probably because the teens and tweens don't listen to me?

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  18. We are definitely out of the baby zone. The massive amount of baby stuff (now trash) that has accumulated in our garage boggles the mind. Soon, though, within a few years with my oldest, will be grandparent of baby mode.... which I hear is more fun. :)

    Great post!

    Cheers,

    Casey

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  19. I don't care what anyone says -- I will play that "baby brain" card until the day I die.

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  20. I loved number six. So me and I'm still fully immersed. SO EXCITED FOR Listen To Your Mother. Awesome Ann, truly.

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  21. I am quite relieved that someday I will stop talking to my husband in capital letters.

    So proud of you and Listen to your Mother!!!

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  22. We actually have a bidet in our bathroom. We use it to wash feet.

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  23. haha, this brought back some memories (my kids are teens now!)

    Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

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  24. I could have another three or four. Ok, I didn't have any which is why I could have more. Hell, might as well make it 25. ;)

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  25. #10? That was totally me today!

    Congrats on the BIG BIG NEWS!!

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  27. Congrats on the great news!
    Are you saying that someday I will stop yelling at my spouse? Will I also stop muttering "idiot" under my breathe and rolling my eyes? Wow, there is something to look forward to!

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  28. What? Nobody commented about the happy pancakes? Or ME? ME! Me? ;-) Congrats on the sponsor! And you can share my animal crackers any time.

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  29. 6. Your stroller is so dirty and jerry-rigged that Graco recalls you personally


    Love this line. I think Graco may also recall me as a mother.

    I've gotta run and put something in my baby's teeth!

    (YEAH! LTYM!)

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  30. I feel that baby brain will remain a forever excuse, and ALL CAPS should be the right of every Mother for eternity.
    Please don't tell me that I have to let that go.
    Can't wait for LTYM to hit sunny FL, the cocktails are fab down here you know - HUGE congrats on your success!

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  31. I don't care if it's a repeat, it's so true.

    Yesterday I went shopping for a baby shower and was looking at all the infant stuff and thought, "What is this stuff?"

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  32. #6 was my favorite! But a great list overall. :)

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