You are going into middle school and you no longer rule the school. HERE IS MY ADVICE TO YOU!
I use Noxema like every single night. I never go to bed without using Noxema—that would be so gross. It is so important to me. I have used it for like ever. Do you even know about daily cleansing?
Can you do a round off back handspring? Can you even do a round off? If you tell anyone I can't do a cartwheel I will kill you. No one cares about cartwheels anyway.
Don't say knapsack. Don't say sack lunch.
Do not bring a cold lunch. Do not buy hot lunch. Only ALACART! Alacart means pizza and French fries. Do not eat the mix vegetables. Stephanie eats the mix vegetables and even the soup and it reminds me of the words “BALANCED BREAKFAST” and makes me want to yak. That means barf.
Don’t say upchuck.
Are you good at drawing anything? Ria draws real eyes. She knows how to draw a sparkle on the eyeball and that bent rectangle that makes apples shine. She has a gift to draw lines that make things look like they are moving or stinking!
You might wear your brand new jeans and turtleneck and wool sweater from the Menswear when it is fall but it is 85 degrees. Everyone might ask you if you are okay because your head is red, and why are you all sweaty, and you look like you are going to puke or cry and don't sit by me! You have to fake it all the way home on the entire bus ride, so you can never stop smiling the entire way, and you run home and get trapped in your turtleneck and fall into your beanbag and cry because you are hot and your smiling hurts so bad. Because no way were you going to wear just a white turtleneck and jeans and nothing else all day like a gaywad.
Don't say sneakers.
Are you growing out your wedge cut? I can make a ponytail. I only need two barrettes on each side and three in the back. From the front it looks like a ponytail. Yes it does. Mine is way longer than yours. Yes it is.
Are you going to pick French or Spanish? French is all bonjuuuu, como tape tuuuu, le le le le blehhh. Pretty girls take Spanish and play the flute. I took saxophone but I quit after one day because everyone says the band teacher picks his nose and flings his boogers. Besides, my brother will not shut up playing Andy Griffith on his Sax.
Don't say saxaphone. Say sax.
My handwriting is now beautiful. When I sign my signature I put a swirl under it with two slashes. Do you have a signature? You might not need one.
I know all the words to “I guess that’s why they call it the blues” by Elton John. I love the part that goes "Laughin like children, livin like lovers, rollin like thunder, underrecover" I just got the 45. And Sheena Easton Strut. Jessica and I made the most awesome dance to Strut. We hold each other like real dancers! What 45s do you have?
Do you know any cheers? Do you know any cheers in English? Do you have moves?
Don't say foreign language camp. Say camp. Yes you did.
Do you like anyone? Not like, but LIKE like. Would you French someone if you could French someone? If you had to either French The Principal who has dandruff forehead, or the Lunch Lady who swings her stubby legs when she sits at the register, who would you French? You have to chose. Yes you do.
Wonderful.Now you know what to do. You’re welcome! Have fun in school. HA! JK!!! JK means just kidding. Don't say Just Kidding.
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Two great causes, two great Dad Bloggers
DO FUN STUFF: A Kids Record For Parents is the first of a yearly compilation of original kids music curated by Ryan Marshall of Pacing the Panic Room.
The idea to create a kids record was inspired by his step-son’s love of music, who was diagnosed with Smith Magenis Syndrome in late 2009. Upon first learning of this diagnosis there was virtually no information easily available to inform the family of what was to be expected or how to manage SMS. Ryan's wife, Cole Marshall, turned to the internet and found the website PRISMS which provided the first real glimpse into the complexities and challenges ahead.
100% of the proceeds from the sale of Do Fun Stuff will go into a grant fund established by PRISMS and the money made available to grad students who select Smith Magenis Syndrome as their field of choice. This is in the hopes of generating more intense case studies to provide parents, and researchers with new and important information about the mysteries of Smith Magenis Syndrome.
DO FUN STUFF: A Kids Record For Parents is the first of a yearly compilation of original kids music curated by Ryan Marshall of Pacing the Panic Room.
The idea to create a kids record was inspired by his step-son’s love of music, who was diagnosed with Smith Magenis Syndrome in late 2009. Upon first learning of this diagnosis there was virtually no information easily available to inform the family of what was to be expected or how to manage SMS. Ryan's wife, Cole Marshall, turned to the internet and found the website PRISMS which provided the first real glimpse into the complexities and challenges ahead.
100% of the proceeds from the sale of Do Fun Stuff will go into a grant fund established by PRISMS and the money made available to grad students who select Smith Magenis Syndrome as their field of choice. This is in the hopes of generating more intense case studies to provide parents, and researchers with new and important information about the mysteries of Smith Magenis Syndrome.
So please click on the widget above to buy the album, make a donation, and/or share the widget with everyone you know.
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Finally, please please take two minutes to vote to Cure JM. Kevin and Rhonda have worked tirelessly to get their cause to NUMBER ONE in the Pepsi Refresh challenge. They only need to stay there for TWO MORE DAYS to win $250,000 for their cause--to cure this life-threatening illness affecting their daughter and thousands of other children. Watch the video here.
BLOGGING IS COMMUNITY BUILDING.
Thank you for doing your part,
Ann
BLOGGING IS COMMUNITY BUILDING.
Thank you for doing your part,
Ann
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