Monday, February 15, 2010

Interview with myself #4: 18-year-old Summer Camp Counselor-in-Training

The next installment in a series of stunning displays of narcissism in one act...

Camp Director: So why do you think you are ready to be on staff at Named-After-Wealthy-People Institute?

Ann: Please don’t say Institute. I’m already composing inappropriate cheers.

Camp Director: So why do you want to work at camp?

Ann: I love camp (boys). I love Jews (boys). The friends I’ve made here (dress in ROOTS) understand me in a way that none of my friends do at home (have never even heard of ROOTS)

Camp Director: What do you say to your friends when they ask why you want to spend your summer praying and studying Judaism?

Ann: They pray (not to get busted) and study (advanced beer bonging) too. They know that my camp is really special to me (boys). They won’t remember anything about their summers, but I will cherish these memories for years and know many Hebrew prayers by rote and have little idea what they mean.

Camp Director: How will you handle ten kids in one cabin?

Ann: I’m so good with kids. Yes I will try to drag that one girl from her bed, but she was thrashing back and forth so wildly she was well on her way.

Camp Director: How about the kids that are (just off meds for the month their parents send them to camp) homesick?

Ann: I will sing them The Rainbow Connection or foist them on my co-counselor and go make out with my boyfriend

Camp Director: What special skills do you have?

Ann: I love to act and sing. I can totally help out with Drama (sing louder than everyone so they can hear my mad Jewish trills and flirt with the very much older and very much too interested married drama director) I am going to do this awesome impression of you at the staff meeting actually. I wonder if you will think it is so amazing that I am so talented. I know you will not regret hiring me. Especially since my parents have paid you thousands of dollars over several years, and you really have no choice. I might as well tell you that I end up marrying a non-Jew, but that is less my fault and probably due to your no camper-staff relationship policy. Just saying, you might want to rethink that one. B’Shalom!
Posted by Ann Imig
at 12:01 AM
Labels: , , ,

30 comments:

  1. You've reminded me of all the reasons I was a camp counselor in high school (boys!).
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  2. I was counselor in a jewish american summer camp for one summer. I went there for the enriching experience (american boys) of being by myself in a foreign country (g-d bless america!) and enjoying the last months before burying my sorry ass in university. Did I mention boys?
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  3. You make me wish I had been a counselor. It's too late now, eh?
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  4. too much.

    my mom was a cook at a bible camp many summers when I was little. Loved being a camp kid and I always had crushes on the counselors. And I used to sneak beef jerky from the treat shop. beef jerky. i have no idea why.
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  5. You have just brought back many memories of my Jewish sleep-away camp days (and nights (-:) Oh, we were adequately jewish before and after a meal, Friday nights and Saturday mornings. The rest of the time.....well, nobody can prove a thing (-:
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  6. I went to Jew sleepaway camp for two summers, definitely makes me wish I had become a counselor - but, for a jew, I know almost no prayers or songs...would have made it kind of awkward.
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  7. OK, I'm keeping this post from my daughter who will be a camp counselor this year.

    p.s. hope your boys don't drive you crazy shaking their groggers. Haman Rules.
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  8. I think I had a counselor sing me the Rainbow Connection. Was it you?

    Oh how I love these interviews... more. Please more.
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  9. 20 years of my life were spent at two Jewish overnight camps- one in CA and one just outside of Toronto. I had a Roots sweatshirt.

    Of course the only reason I went to camp was to meet girls and discuss important religious issues. Some of the most spiritual moments took place in this old cabin in the woods.
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  10. I married the 1990 Religious and Cultural Vice-President of Michigan State Temple Youth. He went on to become the 1991 President of Michigan State Temple Youth. During those years he was concurrently the Song Leader at UHC Kutz Camp.

    He then joined a punk rock band and married yours truly, a shiksa.

    Dayenu.
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  12. you still got hired after this? really?
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  13. becoming a jew is intriguing me more and more. since my kids are now both over the age of 13, i can get out of the whole bar mitzvah thing, right?
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  14. I loved church camp (making out with girls I barely knew). It was such an enriching experience (sexual firsts galore.)

    Cheers,

    SLC
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  16. I'm with Jessica, you actually GOT the job?? LOL!
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  17. Damn! I knew I shoulda been a camp counselor when I was a teenager.

    You totally crack me up. I'm sending this to all my friends who have kids that are "counselors in training".

    Have a great week.
    jj
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  18. What are ROOTS? And I want to hear the inappropriate cheer (you know I had to think that one through for a minute - these things don't come easily to me - drives my husband crazy).
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  20. That's funny Jack. I was thinking Alex Haley.
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  21. Hi Spencer,

    That is not the first time I have heard that. One of my camp experiences was at a camp located just outside of Toronto. Learned all sorts of interesting things about Canada and Canadians.
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  22. Alas, my only camp-related experience was getting kicked out of Girl Scouts camp for smoking.
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  23. I think that's meant to be Om Shalom, missy....
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  24. I remember getting in "BIG" trouble when I jumped in the swimming hole and came up yelling "Shhiiiiiiiiiiit". They actually got a committee together to talk to me about it.

    If they had only suspected all the other stuff going on, they would have probably gone into group shock.
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  25. My husband is obsessed with his years at Jew camp. Honestly, I think he's still a counselor on the weekends. Hilarious post.
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  26. LOL... Ann! I was a counselor at Catholic camp and it was all about the boys, too... Universally true.
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  27. Church camp is the bomb. I think you would totally be a good counselor. I would vote for you.
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  28. Missing a week of Ann's Rant's due to Life and What Not sucked, but reading three new posts in a row was awesome like the time I watched a whole season of the Sopranos in a weekend.

    At least at your summer camp there was no pressure to get "saved" on the last night there, although accepting Christ as your personal saviour makes for a raucous finale.

    Held up at the bank? Oh hell yeah, I'd probably die apologizing and being polite to someone with a pair of Leggs on his head, 'cause I'm neurotic like that. Glad you are safe and sound my dear.
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  29. I love all installments of your interview with a younger self series. Can't wait for the boxed set free giveaway!
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  30. OMG - I forgot about ROOTS clothing. The sweatshirts! Wasn't it a Canadian company? I coveted but never had one.

    I never went to jewish summer camp but my cousin did and from her descriptions, it sounds like the are all exactly the same.

    It also reminds me of the NCSY shabbatones - did you do those?
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