Thursday, November 19, 2009

The House that dwell Built!

This is the house that dwell built!

This is the urban couple dressed mostly in black
With a Small-Paul clad toddler, their son named Jack
That dreamed of a house that dwell Built

This is a sign reading “foreclosed”
Hanging from the reclaimed door, raw and exposed
That mortgaged the future of the couple in black
With a small-Paul clad toddler, their son named Jack
That dreamed of a house that dwell Built.

These are the invoices piled high
Because of one change from the feng shui guy
That resulted in the sign reading “foreclosed”
Hanging from the reclaimed door, raw and exposed
That mortgaged the future of the couple in black
With a Small-Paul clad toddler, their son named Jack
That dreamed of a house that dwell Built

This is the feng shui guy consulting his bagua
That foretold of a potty in an inauspicious area
That halted the project in one fell swoop
By the contractor fuming on the poured concrete stoop
That ruined the plans for a simple prefab
That changed the scope to an eco-Zen-friendly rehab
Of bamboo upholstery and denim insulation
Of solar panel window walls, and water moderation
That broke the budget, taking them back to phase one
With lots of ordering yet to be done
That caused the couple to argue and stress
Over making their collective carbon footprint less
While retaining a mid-century open floor plan
That emptied their pockets, one and two grand
Of custom authentic barn-style doors
Of non-guaranteed cork and teak floors
That generated the invoices piled high
Because of one change from the feng shui guy
That mortgaged the future of the couple in black
With a small-Paul clad toddler, their son named Jack
That dreamed of a house that dwell built.

36 comments:

  1. fantastic! in every possible way. absolutely fantastic.
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  2. Well, that was fucking awesome. You did not mention the fine poet that you also are in our interview. I bow to your awesomeness.
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  3. hey hey! haven't been around in a bit, that was a RAD post to come back to! Small Paul. I found some at Target. And my poor children, good thing they let me dress them still - and I have pics to prove it.

    Love your writing, as always.
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  4. It's like, I'm Seuss and you're Silverstein. SO WEIRD.
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  5. Wow, very impressive writing! That a whole other writing style I haven't seen before from you.
    Awesome!
    xo
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  6. yup. I agree. that was great! and bejewell is right.... Silverstein would be proud.
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  7. This is an advertisement for dwell isn't it? How much did they pay you? Did you get a free house from them?

    ;)
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  8. Good God, just when I think I can't love you any more. Fantastic.
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  9. Dang it, Ann, this blows me away!

    You're SO talented!!
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  10. I agree with all those people using all those exclamation points up there.
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  11. Well done. Most of my poetry is limited to limericks about Nantucket, but we won't go there.
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  12. Love it ....very talented in so many ways.
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  13. And the moral of the story:

    Stay Away...from Feng Shui!
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  14. Remind me not to call that feng shui guy. I'm thinking of starting a design craze centered around unfinished projects. Really, the two extra holes in the ceiling where the can lights are supposed to be installed have character. I could go on.

    Great story! I am always impressed with your creativity.
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  15. Whoa!!! I'm going to have to re-tweet this!!
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  16. absolutely fabulous. like all good nursery rhymes, it touches on truths that are too hard to say without rhythm.
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  17. Is there no limit to your greatness????
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  18. Wow Ann, I almost missed this one. So nice to see a different side of your writing!

    IB
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  19. I want one of those houses that dwell Built! Great writing!
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  20. Feng Shui guys have Mob Connections, capeech?

    Nicely done!!!
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  21. Nicely done. I am impressed. And wondering if you guys need a place to stay for a while. ;)
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  22. This is wonderfully written and I enjoyed reading it. You keep getting better. :))
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  23. Fantastic and fast. I really like the rhythm. And I bet you make this stuff up all the time for the kids right?
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  24. How do you come up with this stuff??? I'm really impressed.
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  25. Ann, I swear to you, this is brilliant. Brilliant. You should definitely send this to McSweeney's
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  26. I am new to the shrunken heads:0 WOW I love your style and will be stopping by often to see what you are ranting about...
    Love Tawnia
    http://mommyspaceblog.blogspot.com
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  27. Your creativity is definitely not blocked. Awesome.
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  28. Did you write this?

    :-)

    You rock.
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