Rant's Little Instruction Book

A bird in the hand is worth freaking out over.

Listen to your Heart. And then listen to The Indigo Girls. Compare and Contrast.

When life gives you lemons, don’t let them rot in the crisper.

You’re only as old as you feel. And my, your skin feels papery.

If at first you don’t succeed, there’s always Second Life

Denial means never having to say you’re sorry

When one door closes, you might be locked out.

When God closes a door, he doesn’t want you to come in

An apple a day drowns under your Big Gulp

It takes all kinds, but no one likes the Brazil Nuts

Go to bed angry (you stopped making sense hours ago)

Everybody is a winner. There are no losers. But you still can’t sit at our table.

Do what you love and the money will follow. It may never catch up, however.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Especially if it’s a lame-ass gluten free cookie.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. No one should throw stones. It's just not a good idea.

Your not losing a daughter. You're paying for a very expensive party and then they're both moving in with you due to the economy.

March to the beat of your own drummer, and then settle down. You look funny when you march.

My glass is half full. Waiter?