Thursday, September 3, 2009

Front Butt, Back Butt, and other unmentionables

When FivePointFive was young and immature, he used to refer to his penis as "front butt" and his behind as "back butt."

Now he uses the technical term "pee-nuss."

Very recently he noticed my lack of "pee-nuss" on one of his rare occasions seeing me nude. These occasions now bring him a mix of immediate mom-naked-revulsion and complete fascination. So soon?

Coincidentally, on the first day of kindergarten he said "I can see all the way down to your shirt to your buhgina." I did a double-take, looking down my shirt, which sent him into hysterics. Just like you can't see more of a photograph than what is printed on the paper (try as you might), buginas don't leap out of their jeans just because you bend over.

Anyway.

You can blame Jessica Bern of BernThis for the graphic nature of today's post. Her hilarious Aunt Flo video for Seventh Generation has me thinking about unmentionables. Don't forget to sign up while you are over there, because Seventh Generation will donate one dollar to ovarian cancer research if you do.

Now everyone, keep your unmentionables to your self.
Posted by Ann Imig
at 8:10 AM
Labels: , , ,

35 comments:

  1. Ann, I can see your Buh-gina from here. Keep it under wraps.. PLEASE!
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  2. For a while, my husband had our son convinced that his penis was actually a tail. It was fun trying to explain that one to the pediatrician.
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  3. When I saw "front butt" I was thinking something else... Passed a front butt on my way into work this morning, a very heavy, swinging belly in a too-small shirt, a belly that seemed to have split, somehow, down the center, leaving the impression of butt cheeks...

    ooooh. I don't know HOW I'm going to get that outta my head.

    Pearl

    p.s. you look very nice today.
    ReplyDelete
  4. I love it front butt classic! Ann put some panties on for the love of god!
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  5. Ahh good, he's already looking down shirts.
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  6. I was enjoying a bedtime cuddle with my son not long ago, and I said, "So, are you enjoying P.E. at your new school?" To which he replied, "Yeah, and I like your boobs." A Freudian non-sequitur. Nice.
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  7. Front butt. I love it. I may teach my kid that for fun.
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  8. too funny, love what kids come up with..LOL :-)
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  9. leaping buhginas... nice.
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  10. I love buhgina. A high school friend of mine had always referred to this as a "gine gine" when he was a kid, and because he told me that, it somehow made it into our high school lexicon. I STILL call it that sometimes. Kids are great.
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  11. Sounds like a game of musical chairs. Front butt, back butt, BUHGINA!
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  12. "Now everyone, keep your unmentionables to your self."

    That's too bad, because I've got a really funny unmentionable that is actually on-topic.
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  13. Pee-nuss and Buh-gina sounds like some kinda country fried rap group.

    Pee-nuss and Buh-gine and the Titwillows..

    Peace - Rene
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  14. My kids are teenagers. They don't talk about their parts or my parts or anyone's parts in my presence. It's a blessing. They lost their cuteness on this subject years ago.
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  15. OK...don't ask me where this came from...but my Little Man says "Mommy, I have a wienie, and you have lizards" OK.
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  16. I visited Aunt Flo yesterday! I think she's going to visit me tomorrow!
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  17. Wow, and here I am looking down girls shirts to try and see their boobies! I should have set my sights much lower.
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  18. I unconsciously buttoned my shirt to the top when I read your post. Thanks for the warning. I had no idea :-)
    VERY funny post! Thanks.
    xo
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  19. At least your son is calling parts by their rightful name. You wouldn't believe the names parents will use with their kids. I'm usually confused and have to just ask, "Did you mean his penis...?"
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  20. The rumor mill name that we encountered in K was "China".
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  21. We were out to dinner tonight and Summer was SCREAMING because I wouldn't show her my boobs. Seriously.
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  22. Hilarious! As is Bernthis' video.

    My kids used to call it 'the front botty', now it's just plain old 'gina'.
    ReplyDelete
  23. When I was a little kid, I thought that well-endowed women had a second butt on their chest. You know, REALLY well-endowed women whose cleavage was on display and kind of smashed together to form a line? Yeah! Looks like a butt.

    ANYway, dang, I keep trying to watch Jessica's video and it keeps not letting me. I signed up and everything. Boo.
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  24. Oh my Gosh! Hysterical...Children and the names they give to private parts, we should write a book LOL
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  25. I agree with Suzy... "Front butt, back butt, BUHGINA!" sounds like a great game... although I would liken it more to "Duck, Duck, GOOSE!"
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    ReplyDelete
  27. You never know with those crazy buhginas we have! It could just decide it wants to hang out closer to your buhoobs and pop out! *snicker*

    GREAT profile pic by the way!
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  28. haHAAAA! I can't wait til my kid says funny stuff like that. He does, though, point to Jon's bulging pecs and say "boobee?"
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  29. Buh-gina, huh?

    Y'all always crack me up!
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  30. Eleanor loved talking to me about how her brothers both have a PEE-NAHS and she doesn't. So far we have managed to avoid these conversations out in public - but I'm just waiting...

    It's hard to keep my children from seeing me naked on a daily basis since they tend to stand in the bathroom while I shower (we cannot be separated - the world might end). What is the age that you should stop letting your boys see you naked - I mean before they are scarred for life by actual memories of such a thing?
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  31. My grandson called his penis a weenis, and that has stuck with me. It's the opposite of a big-gina.
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  32. Oh, good stuff! My 3 year-old has been pointing to her "front butt" and recently asked for the specific vocabulary term to accompany her discovery.

    I froze. I freaked. I didn't know what to say. So I gave her the technical term while coughing into my sleeve.

    Now she calls it her "rahdina."
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  33. Now, see, this is what happens when we teach kids stuff that is, well, the truth.

    Imagine a preteen with a full understanding of human reproduction, courtesy of his biologist mother, who insists on imparting said wisdom to his colleagues.

    Or maybe you don't want to think about it. Gives me nightmares when I remember.
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  34. I just go through every day trying not to get kicked in my front butt!
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  35. Mastering the old "what's that on your shirt?" prank with a buhgina twist at such a young age? I think his future in comedy is very promising!
    ReplyDelete

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