Welcome back FAFians! This week please welcome one of my bloggy-idols, Anna Lefler. I provided the words in bold, and Anna free-associated in her completely unique and hilarious manner. Don't miss her on the BlogHer humor panel--she's bringing her gong.
Salad Shooter – That’s what police dubbed the 45-year-old housewife who, ten days into her transition to Veganism, held a Cincinnati SWAT team at bay with her husband’s hunting rifle for three hours as she consumed an entire vat of Orange Chicken at a local Panda Express.
Undulate – Technical word processing term for using the backspace key. Example: “While editing my novel, I had to undulate several paragraphs that no longer worked in the story.”
Maxidress - Like a regular dress, but twice as absorbent.
Brechtian – Variant on Breck shampoo, also on the “Breck girls” featured on shampoo’s label. Example: “I wanted my hair to look extra Brechtian for my big date with Thaddeaus tonight, but it won’t flip up the right way in the back.”
Minipad – a very small (but swinging) apartment.
Souvlaki – A trance-like state that occurs when one accidentally inhales a Junior Mint during a symphony concert and then spends the next 20 minutes silently struggling to either swallow it or cough it up before asphyxiating.
Pastiche – The residue of white sugar that clings to one’s mustache after eating a powdered doughnut.
Monchichi – Exclamation used primarily in France to indicate sole possession of a tropical cocktail. Example: “Back off, man. That’s monchichi.”
Sterno – Working title of proposed sitcom chronicling the rollicking adventures of the love-child of Howard Stern and Steve-O. (“Um…pass.”)
Lexicon – when your lawyer pads your bill to cover his trip to Jamaica with the hot girl from word processing.
Christmas Snow – Like regular snow, but gift-wrapped (a.k.a. the cheapest gift ever).
Turkey Jerky – A brief but passionate clench with the poultry man.
Thanks so much for contributing today, Ms. Lefler. Oh, and I'm packing moustache wax in case you run out.
xo
20 comments:
I had such fun doing this, Ann! Thanks so much for the honored invite!
See you in a week, lady!
XOXO
Anna
Hilarious! Who knew there was a technical term for the deleting of paragraphs on a tangent? Now I must get back to monchichi.
I love salad shooter. That would probably be me if I tried to give up meat.
Anna! You have a little pastiche on your 'stache!
Funny! I was finally able to cough up that Jr. mint I've been souvlaking for the past 25 minutes.
Peace - Rene
You're a genius! I'm going to carry this one with me for a long time.
I'm overwhelmed. I can't even pick a favorite. Although being married to a vegetarian leans me towards Salad Shooter.... wait, is that me or her? Brechtian took me by surprise. I'm sort of hanging on as I'm reading your bit, and then I get to the example and just about spew coffee on my work attire.
Souvlaki! Blaaahaaaaah!
And then you end with the dreaded, Turkey Jerkey. I just picture a desperate and really fast squeeze near the Butterballs between the everymom and the genial, balding guy in the white coat and glasses.
Thanks for a great start to my weekend!
Cheers,
SLC
Ohmuhgoodness...I almost choked on an Oreo, reading this. I should know better than to eat, drink, or attempt anything as complicated as breathing while reading FAF. Lesson learned...
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
I thought an undulate was that thingy in the back of your throat?
"Maxidress?" It's like you read my mind.
"A trance-like state that occurs when one accidentally inhales a Junior Mint..." Been there, done that!
As I've said before, this feature is why Iove Fridays!
undulate? That's what the kids in my class do right before they have to go to the potty.
Is it bad that I didn't even know the real definitions of most of these words? :-)
"Maxidress - Like a regular dress, but twice as absorbent."
HAHAHAHAHA! I need one of those. Sadly.
I'm still imagining undulating kids in Vodka Mom's class room....
I love these. You all are so good at them!
The maxi and mini really cracked me up!
So funny, as usual. I like monchichi, I never share yummy drinks.
love maxi dress!!
I had a monchichi as a kid. It was weird. I'll now replace the memory of it with this new and much preferred definition. Thanks for allowing me to skirt therapy for one more day ;)
HAHAHAHA! Maxidress. That was hysterical.
Great idea...loved it.
Everybody loves Ms. Lefler!
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