Welcome back FAFians! This week please welcome one of my bloggy-idols, Anna Lefler. I provided the words in bold, and Anna free-associated in her completely unique and hilarious manner. Don't miss her on the BlogHer humor panel--she's bringing her gong.
Salad Shooter – That’s what police dubbed the 45-year-old housewife who, ten days into her transition to Veganism, held a Cincinnati SWAT team at bay with her husband’s hunting rifle for three hours as she consumed an entire vat of Orange Chicken at a local Panda Express.
Undulate – Technical word processing term for using the backspace key. Example: “While editing my novel, I had to undulate several paragraphs that no longer worked in the story.”
Maxidress - Like a regular dress, but twice as absorbent.
Brechtian – Variant on Breck shampoo, also on the “Breck girls” featured on shampoo’s label. Example: “I wanted my hair to look extra Brechtian for my big date with Thaddeaus tonight, but it won’t flip up the right way in the back.”
Minipad – a very small (but swinging) apartment.
Souvlaki – A trance-like state that occurs when one accidentally inhales a Junior Mint during a symphony concert and then spends the next 20 minutes silently struggling to either swallow it or cough it up before asphyxiating.
Pastiche – The residue of white sugar that clings to one’s mustache after eating a powdered doughnut.
Monchichi – Exclamation used primarily in France to indicate sole possession of a tropical cocktail. Example: “Back off, man. That’s monchichi.”
Sterno – Working title of proposed sitcom chronicling the rollicking adventures of the love-child of Howard Stern and Steve-O. (“Um…pass.”)
Lexicon – when your lawyer pads your bill to cover his trip to Jamaica with the hot girl from word processing.
Christmas Snow – Like regular snow, but gift-wrapped (a.k.a. the cheapest gift ever).
Turkey Jerky – A brief but passionate clench with the poultry man.
Thanks so much for contributing today, Ms. Lefler. Oh, and I'm packing moustache wax in case you run out.
xo
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